Let’s tell our boys they’re more than their muscles
18/03/2024
Written by Dr Stephanie Damiano, Manager of Butterfly Body Bright, Butterfly Foundation
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard “show me your muscles” said in a fun and spirited way to a young boy, some as young as 2!
While it may seem harmless on the surface, and is often meant with love and affection, this seemingly innocent request can have long-lasting effects on how boys see themselves in the world.
Where are they hearing these messages?
It’s hard to escape muscle culture for boys, in the same way it’s hard to escape thin culture for girls.
Comments about muscles, such as “Hi muscles!” or “Eat (insert food an adult wants them to eat) so you can get big muscles”, can be directed at boys themselves, or can be overhead from conversations among adults or older teens, who might be talking about going to the gym to bulk up or ‘get jacked’.
Our young boys are also receiving these messages around muscularity in more subliminal ways…
Playground banter and games: Is anyone else reminded of the phrase when we were children “boys are strong like King Kong, girls are weak…(I’d prefer not to finish that sentence)”
Media: Let’s reflect on how much more muscular superheroes are these days compared to when we were children. Even children’s superhero costumes now come with extra padded sections to provide perfectly etched and bulky biceps and six packs (or more like 8 or 10 packs!).
Role models: In the same way that superheroes have bulked, so have their sporting heroes. The bulky/muscular sports body ideal is not just for body builders anymore.
Social media: Older children who are engaging with social media are also likely exposed to the multitude of male muscle/gym influencers and the many workouts and products they are promoting.
Society in general: It’s difficult to drive down a main strip or enter a shopping centre without seeing huge windows of buff males lifting weights and promoting the latest protein powder.
Why is wanting muscles a problem for boys?
Requests like “show me your muscles” reinforce harmful gender stereotypes that perpetuate the idea that boys need to be strong, and to be strong they need big muscles. Let’s be clear, we’re not really hearing this request made of our young girls.
Further, it sets an ideal for an often unrealistic body type/size that is unachievable for most boys. And this is a message that is starting to effect children from a far too young age, based on some Australian-based research.
For example, one study identified that 33% of 6-year-old boys wanted to be more muscular (1). While another revealed that 59.5% of 8-to-11-year-old boys rated their muscles to be important (2). And these ideals don’t improve once they get to adolescence. Butterfly’s first Body Kind Youth Survey (3) found that 66.2% of young males reported a desire to be more muscular. Notably, a desire for a more muscular body was reported across all gender groups.
Why should we worry?
Body dissatisfaction in adolescent boys is related to the consumption of supplements (e.g., protein powders) and lenient attitudes to doping in sport (4). Body dissatisfaction can also increase the risk of performance- and muscle-enhancing drug use, such as anabolic steroids (5), which can pose significant health risks, including cardiovascular disorders, serious psychiatric disorders, infertility and injuries (6). Body dissatisfaction also increases the risk of developing muscle dysmorphia, disordered eating behaviours and eating disorders.
What can we do instead?
As adults, our language matters and can play an important role in how children think and feel about their own and other’s bodies. Reflect (and where necessary, modify) the way you talk about bodies.
Let’s stop the muscle talk and avoid emphasising the importance of muscles for boys.
If someone asks a young boy in your life to show them his muscles, try to intervene by speaking directly to the child and say something like “we have muscles everywhere in our bodies and many we can’t see”. Or redirect the conversation by saying something like “the size of someone’s muscles isn’t very important to us, did you know that (insert child’s name) is really enjoying (insert currently enjoyed activity)”.
Help children see that their value is not in how they look but in who they are as a person.
Emphasise the things they can do with their body.
Ask them what they want to be when they grow up. Ask about their interests, skills and talents. Literally almost anything but showing you their muscles!
If you’re a school or work with young people, you have an important role to play…
Primary schools, register for Butterfly Body Bright to access resources for a whole school approach.
Secondary schools, sign up for RESET: A Conversation About Boys’ Body Image.
Or check out Butterfly’s programs and services for schools and youth professionals.
If you’re a parent/guardian, there is a lot you can do…
Parents of children aged 5-12, access the Body Bright Families resources.
Parents of teens, access the Body Kind Families resources.
References:
1. McLean, S. A., Wertheim, E. H., & Paxton, S. J. (2018). Preferences for being muscular and thin in 6-year-old boys. Body Image, 26, 98-102. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2018.07.003
2. Ricciardelli, L. A., McCabe, M. P., Lillis, J., & Thomas, K. (2006). A longitudinal investigation of the development of weight and muscle concerns among preadolescent boys. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 35, 177–187. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-005-9004-7
3. Butterfly Foundation (2022). Body Kind Youth Survey: Your body image, Your voice 2022 report. Retrieved from www.butterfly.org.au/bkyouthsurveyfindings
4. Yager. Z., & O’Dea, J. A. (2014). Relationships between body image, nutritional supplement use, and attitudes towards doping in sport among adolescent boys: implications for prevention programs. Journal of International Society of Sports Nutrition, 11(13). http://www.jissn.com/content/11/1/13
5. Ricciardelli, L. A., & Williams, R. J. (2016). Use of supplements and drugs to change body image and appearance among boys and male adolescents (chapter 2). In Chemically modified bodies: The use of diverse substances for appearance enhancement. Eds M. Hall, S. Grogan, & B. Gough.
6. Goldman, A. L., Pope, H. G., & Bhasin, S. (2019). The health threat posed by the hidden epidemic of anabolic steroid use and body image disorders among young men. The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, 104(4), 1069-1074. https://doi.org/10.1210/jc.2018-01706